NRM comedy continues!

By Abbey Kibirige Semuwemba
United Kingdom

In case you thought NRM had not quite scraped the bottom of the barrel just yet, there are reports that their MPs that said ” no” to life presidency, would be summoned to the party disciplinary committee.We’re pretty sure they are just trolling us at this point — and possibly with Museveni’s consent, considering his penchant for quality comedy.

In case this is real, then ” what a chimera “, as John Kazoora says in his preface of the book, ” Betrayed by my leader”. Sincerely speaking, how does a representative of the people get to be questioned on how s/ he voted by the party hierarchy. This isn’t only illegal, it’s also wrong at so many levels.

The presidential age limits were removed, and now its time for Museveni to live with this decision without ” punishing ” those that see life presidency as a danger to our country. The opposition looks weakened at the moment, but things happen in politics when you least expect them.

As I start reading Mr.Kazoora’s book, first of all, I want to congratulate him for finally finishing his postgraduate studies. He should stop regretting his participation in the Luwero war. Most political leaders aren’t any different from a beautiful woman who promises never to cheat you with any man, only to find her at the back of the car with your driver on top of her, and the legs swinging in the air. Obote had to go, and Uganda will always be better without a dictator( past or present).

“In tribute to the United Kingdom and the Republic of Uganda, two bastions of strength in a world filled with strife, discrimination and terrorism.”

“I’m not a supporter of Museveni but I’m (always)willing to dine and talk to him”—- Andrew Mwenda

“I’m not a supporter of Museveni but I’m (always)willing to dine and talk to him”—- Andrew Mwenda

Andrew reminds me of my childhood friend in Bugerere, who impregnated , let’s just say, a not so good looking girl, but when I asked him about it, his response baffled me,

” I’m not her boyfriend. We only used to meet for a Shag. That’s it…..she even has ring worm on her skin”

Human beings, hey????


State House, is it really a state house or ‘Museveni house’ right now? State House too,like NWSC, should actually be renamed in future to ” PEOPLE HOUSE”, to reflect that it’s working for people. The colonialists left us that name(before independence), and we are still hanging on to it. Now, there are even reports that they dont know where the land tittle for State House is.

Have you,guys, ever stopped to wonder why majority of people don’t bother to vote anymore? Have you ever stopped to wonder why, which ever party is in power, since 1962,nothing ever gets any better? Have you ever stopped to wonder why all the four major political parties in the Uganda have broadly the same policies? The answer is simple–the people feel detached from the state. They feel they cant change a govt through elections.They basically feel nothing for Museveni right now, and just waiting for a miracle from God.


Every time I read something being reported about Maj. Kakooza Mutale and Brig Kasirye Gwanga, I give credit to chairman Museveni, because I imagine how he managed such characters in the bush. Its like managing a family member with a serious disease. We may question Museveni’s ‘cake’ appointments that were dominated by westerners especially after the bush war, but there’s something about the Baganda officers that were in the NRA that is a bit unattractive. They are very fun lads that were known to have been fearless during the war. Gwanga awarded himself a degree and PHD in agriculture in 2006, and clashed with NAADS officials. Coincidentally, he is my OB at Kibuli S.S. He joined the army in 1972, left in 1980, joined again when Muwanga was president, and after the murder of his brother by a Tanzania soldier.He has a story to tell on how he joined the NRA,and why he thinks he has some leverage over Museveni.

There is a way Museveni keeps Mutale busy with funny assignments and appointments, such as his current role as senior presidential assistant on political affairs. Interestingly, Mutale has recently come out to openly criticize the ongoing land grabbing in Luwero Triangle where a lot of families have been left landless. The bottom line is , every time the two talk, I’m thinking, ‘ Oh dear,what are they gonna say now ?’ But then again, its good to have them around because they say or do things ‘accidentally’ which a normal person would find hard to say!


I don’t see any problem with Museveni or his wife’s directive to public schools to encourage pupils to read Museveni’s book: SOWING THE MUSTARD SEED. I think Mrs.Museveni feels that her husband has done so much for the country and wants his name in the brains of our little ones. Oh, she’s so sweet and she’s being wifely,isn’t she? But that’s beside the point, I think let the book roll into schools, after all, its gonna be a donation to schools, right?

I personally read the book and took me just three days to finish it yet I was only reading it at night. Yes, it has got a lot of Oboteism, but what the hell, other people that worked with Museveni will write books that will counter almost every lie in Museveni’s book.Yes, there’s stuff there that dont make sense!

By the way, Museveni isn’t the only one who has tried to manipulate history through a book.Historian” David Irving manipulated historical evidence to fit his contentions, among others, that Hitler was “in the dark” about the extermination of Jews and others in Nazi Germany and that there was no systematic effort, indeed no gas chambers, to accomplish those purposes. UAH veteran, Henry Ford Mirima, has tried to rewrite the historical facts between Buganda and Bunyoro kingdom several times. Its up to the reader to cross check with other writers to get the truth. That’s why its important that Besigye too releases the mother of books, now that he is in his 60s, that will outsell Museveni’s.


The big part of me hates dictators but I also know that its easy to judge someone when you aren’t in their place……Just look at Brother Saddam Hussein: he believed in God, prayed five times a day, read the quran, but he also mercilessly executed his enemies. I have got a video of him performing Salah but, for some reason, Facebook has temporarily blocked me from posting videos…………….. That’s why part of me wishes to meet Mr.Museveni one day, and ask him why he does things the way he does them, and I’m no way comparing the late Saddam(24 yrs in power) to Mr.Museveni(31 yrs and still counting), because I believe the former did more for Iraq compared to the Uganda leader.
The big question is: how does a leader stop himself from becoming a dictator? Is it something that others have to stop before one becomes a president or its something a leader has to work on himself? Would Uganda have been better off with a 1962 constitution that gave the president less powers before everything was changed in 1997 by Obote?




JPAM is being abused and abased by the NRM-Museveni, and its not fair. It’s only Besigye supporters allowed to do so to this gentleman.All those attacking him would hardly be considered the linchpins of NRM political thought. JPAM has advanced his presidential case by using—some say abusing—the coercive defacto ‘presidential’ power granted him while still in govt. And the Museveni administration has sought to use the state machinery against him.It has sought to win allies not by detailing the merits of its case but by appealing to partisan sympathies in form of church donations(Mbarara), media thuggery(Andrew M. Mwenda on NTV, Wanyama Don Innocent in Newvision, e.t.c), police thuggery, Facebook lumpiness, e.t.c. Its very unfortunate that the 30 years of NRM political ‘evolution’, culminating in the 1995 Constitution,haven’t rendered such primitive methods obsolete.

To complete the irony, M7 doesn’t care how he’s perceived by the below 35 years anymore–he could whip anyone who dares him in the name of the Constitution and the rule of law.He has hopelessly discredited the office of the presidency as it now exists, and it hurts that we cannot do much about it for now. I bet a lot of political activists dream of either being arrested, killed and ‘punished’ in some way for campaigning against the ‘boss’.

We basically need an equivalent of the USA’s independent counsel law—the legislation to prevent abuses of power by the presidency which was passed by Congress in 1978, in the aftermath of Watergate.An institutional check on the presidency is very necessary.Yes, that’s right—the presidency, not the president. The president is an individual; the presidency is an institution. Or, to be more precise, two institutions: the executive branch, which was created by the Constitution and comprises the Cabinet and independent agencies, and “the presidential branch,” the term political scientists use to describe the State House staff and the staff of the Executive Office.

Unlike the Cabinet ministers,State House and Executive Office aides are not confirmed by the parliament.This removes one of the major constitutional checks on presidential power. For instance, Major Edith Nakalema is probably more powerful than a cabinet minister, but we’ve got no powers over her at all. We cannot even sack her if we think she’s doing a bad job.Often,presidential aides goal is not good government, but good press and good poll ratings for their boss, but we are the one paying all these people’s salaries. They make illegitimate partisan interference in the day-to-day operations of government practically inevitable.

Furthermore, Tamare Mirundi was sacked as a presidential spokesperson but he’s now a presidential advisor, but the tax payer doesn’t know exactly why or if he deserves being an advisor to anybody. Our MPs should really take these issues seriously and get it on records that, at least, they tried asking.

The Attorney General(AG) is responsible for supervising the impartial administration of justice by law enforcement officials. At the same time, he or she is also a political appointee and is expected to be part of the president’s partisan team—even to serve as the president’s attorney. An attorney general cannot be counted on to remain unbiased while investigating possible criminal or unethical activity on the part of his or her boss and colleagues. For instance, AG allowed JPAM to do his consultations but the NRM executive of which the president is the Chairman didnt agree. The AG found himself losing his tongue and doing nothing about this insidious abuse of the law by the presidency.And the threat posed by a corrupt or excessively partisan attorney general is genuine.

Right now, participation in the presidential elections only gives the Besigyes the chance to do political activism and enlightening Ugandans more about their rights and powers, obviously with the hope that the tide may change, but we all know that at the end of this process, only M7 will remain the president. And this hurts a little bit! Nze bwendaba banange!


Just Don’t Trust politicians that much!

I have not had the time to verify every one of the statements made by Museveni before and after he got into power. But it seems all statements from a politician’s mouth shouldn’t be taken seriously. I really don’t think they mean what they say. They only say what the masses want to hear at that particular moment. But once in power, the game changes, and the masses get the surprise of their lives. For instance, I know for sure that Besigye is the most suitable person to become the next president of Uganda, and sometimes I wish I had the power to make him one, but I no longer cling to every word he says as the Bible-heart truth. With Museveni, he would definitely find it easy to tell you that he’s fundamentally changing the guards at your ‘ekiitone’ when in actual sense, he means, he’s going to chop off the guards’ heads! And I think I better leave Mbabazi alone!

The ease and glib fluency with which politicians dismiss principle and fabricate consensus suggests they are more virulent than mere ideologues.They are chilling, livid proof that we should worry more about what a person will turn out to be once s/he gets into power.It is easy to miss the intent of a person’s message sometime. Actually, watch out for politicians who don’t respect moderators when hosted on TV shows. They just keep talking non-stop as if they are moderating themselves.

“I am not a dictator and I never will be. Democracy will be rigorously enforced by National Socialism…….We have the power.Now our gigantic work begins”–Hitler

Those were Hitler’s words on the night of January 30, 1933, as cheering crowds surged past him, for five long hours, beneath the windows of the Chancellery in Berlin.

The difference between Hitler and our African dictators is that he actually did change German for the better especially at the beginning. I’ve been watching some of Hitler’s tapes i bought from HMV(shop), and Oh God! Hitler spoke to the psyche of the German people. Hitler, as a speaker, was a prodigy, the greatest orator of his century. The Musevenis of this world are just ‘actors’ who played us for fools with the Luwero war! Unfortunately, they don’t seem to be in a hurry to go anywhere soon!

Abbey Kibirige Semuwemba



President of Uganda Yoweri Museveni attends the Clinton Global Initiative on September 26, 2013 in New York. AFP PHOTO/Mehdi Taamallah        (Photo credit should read MEHDI TAAMALLAH/AFP/Getty Images)

President of Uganda Yoweri Museveni attends the Clinton Global Initiative on September 26, 2013 in New York. AFP PHOTO/Mehdi Taamallah (Photo credit should read MEHDI TAAMALLAH/AFP/Getty Images)

Here in the UK,once you reach the age of 70, your licence expires –” and if you want to continue to drive, the entitlement will need to be renewed by Driver & Vehicle Agency (DVA).Approximately two months before your 70th birthday – and every three years thereafter – DVA will send you a DL1R: ‘application for renewal of a driving licence’.

Your safety and the safety of other road users are the most important things to consider. If you’re concerned that your driving is not as good as it was, don’t wait for an accident to convince you to stop.
Interestingly, it’s the same with politics of developed nations. There is no way anybody who is 70 years plus would consider standing as leader of the party, or contesting in any sort of elections.Some parts of the body start switching off whether you like it or not: you start forgetting things; make empty promises; see Whatsapp as a threat; discuss wars instead of news on TV; imitating those that do pressure-ups(mbu you are fit); try to be funny most of the time; e.t.c

I’m just sayingggggggggggggggggg!

Frank Tumwebaze: ‘Leave’ in Uganda may mean ‘losing’ your job!

Frank Tumwebaze

Frank Tumwebaze


Hon.Frank Tumwebaze’s case is only about pure Hubris,and I think I now understand why a lot of people want nothing to do with politics. Just check it out:

1. Hon Frank Tumwebaze takes leave from work supposedly for the first time but nobody is happy for him;

2. President Museveni never takes any leave from work ,and I suppose he has his own reasons, but still some people aren’t happy about this. In Africa, you take leave from your job, you may find your replacement in the parking the very day you start your leave;

3. My “sister”, Alice Ruhindi, unfairly throws another punch at UAH for allowing all “trash” to be posted there. This was in reaction to some people that used the platform to attack her and others for allegedly spreading malicious rumours against Frank Tumwebaze. By the way, Alice is a nice person however much she tries to pretend otherwise. She is actually my only hope of making Ms.Nina Mbabazi my mate again;

4. Cuba President Raul Castro demands US hands back Guantanamo Bay . Honestly, why would anybody want to be associated with such a bay where all kinds of people have been tortured since 9/11? The bay is arguably an equivalent of “dirty” money on an account somewhere in the Crane Bank.

But what jumps out at you when you read through the above list is that a lot of people in positions of power are naive. They think they are powerful when actually they aren’t. Mr.Frank Tumwebaze’s response to the shs.10b allegations, for example, is that the Mbabazis have got it for him, and I think this is pure diversion and hubris. As Wikipedia says: “Hubris is usually perceived as a characteristic of an individual rather than a group, although the group the offender belongs to may suffer consequences from the wrongful act. Hubris often indicates a loss of contact with reality and an overestimation of one’s own competence, accomplishments or capabilities, especially when the person exhibiting it is in a position of power.”

I’m not a fan of Mbabazi but he shouldn’t be everybody’s ball to kick in NRM. The 68 year old is arguably finished politically but he is probably the only man I know who knows how to handle a crisis with silence. Tumwebaze’s essential problem is that he likes to impress the bigger forces behind him so much yet sometimes its good to take a step back and just do only the right thing. Yes, only the right thing. And the right thing at this moment is to either deny the existence of the shs.10b on his account, or explain how he got it, or just keep quiet with the hope the issue will just go away! Nze bwendaba banange! Oh, I almost forgot the other alternative: please transfer that money to my account here in the UK.



A lot of controversy surrounds Gen.Sejusa at the moment but what does it mean to be a ‘four star general commander’? Phew, ‘Okwewana nga kususe’! Are all those who fought in Luwero supposed to be like small gods or something? There is a lot of titles flying around: ‘Ssabalwanyi’; ‘Ssaba-capital Gang’; Ssaba-poor-yet-i-fought’, e.t.c. It reminds me of the time US veterans went against John F. Kerry when he kept calling himself a war hero and the receiver of the ‘Purple Heart’, and it somehow turns out that he was kind of a ‘fake’. ”The Swift Boat Vets revealed Kerry didn’t deserve the first of three Purple Heart medals he got because his “injury” was from a tiny fragment of shrapnel that resulted from him firing an M-79 grenade launcher against the nearby shore from the deck of his boat”. Actually, there was a General in Viet Nam who labeled Metal of Honor recipients as a bunch of losers.

Basically, it looks like there is no procedural error in the awarding of medals or giving them titles to some people , but It would help if someone tells us if the recipients actually deserved them. I just don’t like the too much ‘kwewana’ in Sejusa’s speeches as it overshadows the points he’s trying to make. In my opinion, this would throw doubts on his fitness to be the nation’s next president.

Sejusa puzzle not solved yet!

The president mentioned the names of the two young people he sent to London to negotiate Sejusa’s return as Michael Katungi and Janet Anyine, but who are they? Why were they chosen? What’s their official or unofficial position in government?

The president’s account contradicts what senior journalist, Chris Obore, said on national Tv on 14th December 2014 that the return was engineered by Gen. Salim Saleh because he sympathized with the life Tinyefunza was going through in the UK. Chris mentioned that he knew of Sejusa’s return in advance but they couldn’t publish anything in the Daily Monitor incase both sides changed their minds, but they camped at the airport the night of his return.

Some people may look at this and conclude that Museveni is at his weakest point as far as handling deserters is concerned, but I’m looking at it differently. It’s obvious that Sejusa knows a lot about the inside working of the president. Having him back home gives the president a lot of control on how to handle the guy. He may even bang him in prison tomorrow on concocted charges if he wishes, and there’s nothing anybody could do about it. Overall, I think this is a triumph for both men but the president has that edge over Sejusa.

Museveni hasn’t completely subverted the army justice system but I think time will tell. Till the Tinyefunza resignation certificate is signed, and we don’t know when that will be, Tinyefunza is to zip his lips and that is not good for him. Speculation will continue mounting against him that he is fooling the opposition till when he is able to talk again.

Basically, Museveni’s stall tactics aren’t any different than any other person under pressure, and is in fact doing what he is expected of him under the circumstances. I keep telling people not to underestimate Museveni like Obote did in 1980s, but you don’t listen. His strongest weapon has been his smile on the face and the fact that a lot of his opponents have been underestimating him probably since his childhood. Women are victims of his smile and his looks while men fall for “underestimation”. Would you believe it? He even managed to smile while shaking Sejusa’s hands. He he he.

The losers in all this have been Ofwono Opondo and other spin masters. Have you figured out that Ofwono doesn’t have a clue yet of what we are talking about here?
We can’t have any meaningful discussion on anything because of political spins, and I’m starting to hate it. Andrew Mwenda told us that Sejusa initiated the talks with state house while Ofwono Opondo said that Sejusa’s ticket was bought by the govt. And there is the other spin master who only does his job with “funny stories” and abusing the president’s opponents.

But some Ugandans are also to blame in all this because some of these lies are provoked. Ask a dumb question, get a dumb answer. Honestly, how do you expect Tamare Mirundi to know what goes on between Sejusa and Museveni? But If the same question is asked Tamare in a pub, over a good beer,you’ll often get a different answer. Whose business is it anyway?

Well, Life is like a game with no mission, you have to follow the rules but you don’t know the reason you’re doing it.

Tinyefunza has given a x-mas gift to Museveni

Gen. David Sejusa lays a wreath on his late father's grave who died 3 months ago, this morning in Ssembabule.

Gen. David Sejusa lays a wreath on his late father’s grave who died 3 months ago, this morning in Ssembabule.

I’m gonna say this once and hopefully I’m not pelted with stones again by my sister, Alice Ruhindi: President Museveni is a lucky guy. Luck is defined as when preparation meets opportunity.Take an example,FDC organised their conference on 5th Dec 2014 but they were upstaged by a Museveni on Capital Gang; the talk in town has been about Mbabazi Vs Museveni at the NRM Delegates conference tomorrow but guess what, Gen.Sejusa( aka Tinyefunza) is back, and he has changed that, and he is reportdely “putting his behind” on Museveni. I wouldn’t be surprised if Tinyefunza gives a speech at Namboole tomorrow showering praises on his mentor.

Perhaps the “circumstantially unlucky” people in opposition in Uganda ought to do a little more preparation next time to improve their own odds than entirely relying on those that fall out with Museveni. Time and time again Museveni has used some people as a decoy to score beautiful goals against the opposition but they never learn. You see, Museveni didn’t just fall off some turnip truck somewhere to become the president in 1986.He indeed planned for it for a long time.There is a reason some people succeed and some do not, and this reason is not affected by tribe, religion or sex. It is open to all, and it simply is that there are those who prepare for their opportunity and take it, and there are those who watch it go by, for whatever reason.

Oh? It seems that the vast majority of the press has more or less thrown Gen.Sejusa on the political “electric chair,” but I think there is more to his second come back than what meets the eye. Watch this space!

I believe a lot of people in the opposition are disappointed by this development but let us not lose hope because its only Tinyefunza who knows why he made the decision he made.I will refrain from criticism of his bumptious attempts to cool down people who feel betrayed by him. All I know is that nobody returns to Uganda after a self imposed exile and he is treated the way Tinyefunza has been treated in the last 24 hours, when they came back on their own terms. Tinyefunza must have been given at least some form of assurances before he got on the plane. Anyway, assurances or not, Museveni has been given a Christmas present because he can now control whatever Tinyefunza is doing in the country. Everywhere he goes, Tinyefunza will be followed.

This only confirms one possibility that Museveni’s govt won’t go down as fast as Obote’s in mid 1980s despite being the most corrupt and inept in Uganda’s history.A lot of people are pretending to be in opposition and mistrust among different camps in opposition has grown.It makes sense now: If you’re going to betray your people,you might try to lie and say you are actually doing the reverse, being a patriot, helping the country, and tell them always what they want to hear without any objectivity.

Certainly there is room for a discussion of policy or for debate on Uganda’s direction in a post Museveni situation. We can all agree on that. We can also all agree Museveni has made mistakes in his 28 years in power but his mistakes have not been exploited by anybody to bring him down. Every president has made his share of mistakes while in power.


Prediction: Mbabazi’s Speech at 15th Dec 2014 NRM delegates conference at Nambole

The following speech will be largely ignored by the media but some of you may find it a compelling vision for Uganda’s future. It may become a historic speech, setting a new course for our country.Therefore, bypass the media by distributing the speech widely, and let an informed people decide. And consider supporting Mr. X as the NRM presidential candidate in 2016.
“Let me say first of all that, in a way that is peculiarly fitting that I’m happy that my leave has ended as I have been missing being involved in our party activities. As i assume, you all know, 32 years ago today, the NRA (then called PRA) declared war on Obote’s government in what came to be called the liberation War. In an indirect way that had an enormous impact on my life because it was when we took a decision to seek refuge in Sweden as a family. I ended up being separated from the rest of the family as i had to run risky errands for the NRM from Nairobi, which was the largest “battlefield” on the Eastern front of that war, as we spent several days hiding away from UNLA spies that had been sent to look for us there and monitor our activities. Ndugu Ruhakana Rugunda can testify to this if he wants.

The liberation War was both an example of what happens when leadership fails in a country and societies collide and it was an example, in its aftermath, of what happens when people lie to themselves about the objective realities of the human condition,because instead of leading to peace and development, as our chairman for over 30 years had so devoutly hoped, it in fact ultimately has led to mini-peace in some areas especially in the north and under development in large parts of the country. And instead of leading to greater freedom for all human beings, as our chairman again in his ten points program had hoped, it has led to Nazism, fascism(as lady Jackie Mbabazi pointed out) and a lot of sectarian tendencies.

And so, it is both good for us today to remember the cost paid by those who believed enough in freedom to have died for it, and useful to remind ourselves that that price has to be paid every year and every week, and that it is better by far to pay that price in peace time, by being vigilant and by trying to do that which is right, than it is to allow your society to decay or to have inadequate leadership and drift into a cataclysm comparable to the Idi Amin and obote regimes. And that is not just a NRM battle cry. I think it is important to recognize that what is ultimately at stake in our current environment is literally the future of Uganda if we let things continue as there are at the moment.

I am a lawyer by background, and I would assert and defend on any campus in this country that it is impossible to maintain civilisation and peace with high levels of youth unemployment, with high levels of poverty, with high levels of immorality involving nudism, now termed as “Luzindanism”, with maids killing or torturing babies, with an ageing leader, and with a decline in agricultural production. And that what is at issue is literally not NRM,or FDC or DP or UPC but the question of whether or not our country will survive beyond the current leaders.

Now, I’ve been sort of intrigued by the press coverage since rumours started that im interested in the presidency of this country. First of all, I think whoever started this rumour has most accurately captured the essence of the need for change in our country. I want to declare it today that I will stand for presidency in 2016 as long as our chairman does not stand.

Now, there has been an enormous effort in the Kampala elite to avoid the reality that this conference is actually about some fairly big ideas: which direction do you want the party to go in? There are those who argue that the chairman of the party should have absolute control including appointing the Secretary General. While we respect their ideas, we also think that they aren’t different from those who agitated for Amin to declare himself the life president in the 1970s. NRM could do better than an Amin. We don’t want an Amin at the helm of our party or a leader micromanaging virtually every part of the country.


Please forgive and give Sarah Kagingo her job back

Joseph Owino

Joseph Owino


Who is updating us now on Statehouse ‘lugambo’ now that Ms. Sarah Kagingo is locked out? We are missing the updates as they too seem to have been suspended at the same time as Sarah. I reckon Sarah’s bosses behaved like a merchant updating his inventory by first burning down his store. The ‘store’ was Sarah because he introduced them to the social media, and I’m afraid a new face may not cut it for a lot of people.

This time I’m gonna fault my sister, Sarah Kagingo, for trusting people she doesn’t know very well. She should never have trusted Mr. Joseph Owino with the passwords to access the president’s accounts. By the way, Owino is now a member of UAH on facebook.

That said, I just don’t know why everybody is making a big deal out of this hacking business.It was even another pointless point on Tamale Mirundi’s part to get involved because its gonna bring him some problems.He keeps this up and and he’ll be batting a1000 statehouse battles in no time.

Everybody’s account(banking online, Facebook, twitter, e.t.c) can be hacked into, and everybody is capable of impersonating anybody on Facebook. And the chances of the police catching them are almost nil. It is even a wastage of tax payers’ money to probe Mr.James Owino. It is scary that some people seem to actually believe the trash that Uganda police could tack anybody on Facebook.They could track someone behind an Email address,but not Facebook. And Facebook rarely helps authorities in trivial matters such as this one. Anybody can improperly and covertly hack into computers used by Statehouse and possibly get away with it.

This incident has two lessons for us:

1-The president and individuals in the executive branch should absolutely keep private communications absolutely private.If the communication is NOT critical to national security, or any of the govt business, we have no business knowing about it. For instance, pics of a 70 plus Museveni celebrating his birthday is none of our damn business.There is no form of government anywhere on earth where everyone is allowed to know everything that the government does. Which is perfectly understandable, up to a point.

2- “Free” space in the digital “cloud”or anywhere on internet is not to be trusted. To put it another way, if you don’t pay for it, you don’t control it, and even if you do pay for it, chances are that you have limited control.

Now, statehouse should let Sarah get back to job because we adore her. Mr.Tamale should cool it. I know he has got a big one(mouth) on him. And everybody is happy happy! Oh, And it doesn’t cost $1600 or $ 160,000 to run twitter/facebook Accounts.

Nze bwendaba banange!



This is a must read by all Ugandans on UAH or elsewhere to know where you fall.Dr. Lawrence Britt has examined the fascist regimes of Hitler (Germany), Mussolini (Italy), Franco (Spain), Suharto (Indonesia) and several Latin American regimes. Britt found 14 defining characteristics common to each:

1. Powerful and Continuing Nationalism – Fascist regimes tend to make constant use of patriotic mottos, slogans, symbols, songs, and other paraphernalia. Flags are seen everywhere, as are flag symbols on clothing and in public displays.

2. Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights – Because of fear of enemies and the need for security, the people in fascist regimes are persuaded that human rights can be ignored in certain cases because of “need.” The people tend to look the other way or even approve of torture, summary executions, assassinations, long incarcerations of prisoners, etc.

3. Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause – The people are rallied into a unifying patriotic frenzy over the need to eliminate a perceived common threat or foe: racial , ethnic or religious minorities; liberals; communists; socialists, terrorists, etc.

4. Supremacy of the Military – Even when there are widespread
domestic problems, the military is given a disproportionate amount of government funding, and the domestic agenda is neglected. Soldiers and military service are glamorized.

5. Rampant Sexism – The governments of fascist nations tend to be almost exclusively male-dominated. Under fascist regimes, traditional gender roles are made more rigid. Divorce, abortion and homosexuality are suppressed and the state is represented as the ultimate guardian of the family institution.

6. Controlled Mass Media – Sometimes to media is directly controlled by the government, but in other cases, the media is indirectly controlled by government regulation, or sympathetic media spokespeople and executives. Censorship, especially in war time, is very common.

7. Obsession with National Security – Fear is used as a motivational tool by the government over the masses.

8. Religion and Government are Intertwined – Governments in fascist nations tend to use the most common religion in the nation as a tool to manipulate public opinion. Religious rhetoric and terminology is common from government leaders, even when the major tenets of the religion are diametrically opposed to the government’s policies or actions.

9. Corporate Power is Protected – The industrial and business aristocracy of a fascist nation often are the ones who put the government leaders into power, creating a mutually beneficial business/government relationship and power elite.

10. Labor Power is Suppressed – Because the organizing power of labor is the only real threat to a fascist government, labor unions are either eliminated entirely, or are severely suppressed.

11. Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts – Fascist nations tend to promote and tolerate open hostility to higher education, and academia. It is not uncommon for professors and other academics to be censored or even arrested. Free expression in the arts and letters is openly attacked.

12. Obsession with Crime and Punishment – Under fascist regimes, the police are given almost limitless power to enforce laws. The people are often willing to overlook police abuses and even forego civil liberties in the name of patriotism. There is often a national police force with virtually unlimited power in fascist nations.

13. Rampant Cronyism and Corruption – Fascist regimes almost always are governed by groups of friends and associates who appoint each other to government positions and use governmental power and authority to protect their friends from accountability. It is not uncommon in fascist regimes for national resources and even treasures to be appropriated or even outright stolen by government leaders.

14. Fraudulent Elections – Sometimes elections in fascist nations are a complete sham. Other times elections are manipulated by smear campaigns against or even assassination of opposition candidates, use of legislation to control voting numbers or political district boundaries, and manipulation of the media. Fascist nations also typically use their judiciaries to manipulate or control elections.



Here is part of Hitler’s speech at Rheinmetall-Borsig Works, Berlin, on December 10, 1940:

“In this Anglo-French world there exists, as it were, democracy, which means the rule of the people by the people. Now the people must possess some means of giving expression to their thoughts or their wishes. Examining this problem more closely, we see that the people themselves have originally no convictions of their own. Their convictions are formed,of course, just as everywhere else. The decisive question is who enlightens the people,who educates them? In those countries, it is actually capital that rules; that is, nothing more than a clique of a few hundred men who possess untold wealth and, as a consequence of the peculiar structure of their national life, are more or less independent and free…………….It is my ambition to make the German people rich and to make the German homeland beautiful. I want the standard of living of the individual raised. I want us to have the most beautiful and the finest civilization. I should like the theater – in fact, the whole of German civilization – to benefit all the people and not to exist only for the upper ten thousand, as is the case in England.”

The speech was too long and I have picked the bits that may be relevant to what i wish to say on this point. Yes, pay your attention to the word:’ambition’. At the recent NRM NEC meeting, president Museveni is reported to have said:“We revolutionaries don’t talk about ambition. You can have ambition but not at the expense of sacrifice; ambition – I want, I want, I want – is just reactionary thinking.”

I think the president is being dishonest about this. Everybody has got ambition.He had ambition when he launched a guerrilla war against Obote in 1980s. Hitler had ambition and he considered himself a ‘revolutionary’, didn’t he? What Museveni is promoting is called utopianism, which banishes good, creative freedom–entrepreneurship, energy, dynamism, ambition, competitiveness, innovation, openness, honesty, etc. And I reckon our president will fail at some stage because it is not sustainable. He is trying to keep so many balls in air, as Hitler did, but there is a thing called ‘making a blunder’, and I guess his(Museveni) first blunder was arguably the removal of the presidential term limits from the constitution.

I remember listening to late Dr. Sula Kiggundu(RIP) on some Fm radio station saying that term limits was our ‘insurance policy’ against any president we don’t like, against wars and stuff like that, but few of the NRM MPs took it seriously at the time. They only looked at today instead of tomorrow. What they forgot was that when someone starts a war purposely to remove president Museveni or attempts to assassinate him, basically because they want change, all of us undoubtedly get affected. The properties they(MPs) have accumulated get destroyed in the process; the kids they have had die instantly as part of collateral damage; the businesses they have started up all kiss each other good bye………….we all lose something here. But it takes someone who looks so far not to accept to be bought with a mere shs.5m just to change something as important as term limits were/are. People are so greedy nowadays and I wonder why!

The second blunder he is making, if it comes to pass and i believe it will, is trying to impose his son on Ugandans. That’s not cool at all. Yes, Mr.Muhoozi is entitled to stand for presidency like any other Uganda citizen and I’m not trivializing his major responsibilities in the army(UPDF), but I just don’t think that this is the time for a little developing country, like Uganda, to start a system(father to son) that will be difficult to evolve into something good for everybody in the long term.

The simplistic understanding of this should be a system that gives everybody a chance to stand and win the presidency fairly, which is not the case in Uganda at the moment, but we should aspire for something like that. A father- to- son presidency is way a bit over the top for us compared to the already developed nations with strong systems in place! Trust me, the US has more layers of control in this regard than a lot of other countries.

Let me broaden this a bit: Mrs.Jack-chan Mbabazi is quoted to have said that Museveni fears competition, right? Every human being on the planet is instinctively trying to promote themselves or their own.One way to win the competition is to either kill your competitors, keep them under lock, or surprise them. I believe Museveni, like any other human being, has been doing any of the three for nearly three decades. And it looks like we don’t even have a system in place yet that will prevent his son, if he takes over, from not doing the same when he gets the presidency, and that should worry everyone promoting or not promoting the Muhozi presidency.

Basically,the system we should promote is where the goal isn’t to be that the president and his family are the major beneficiaries. We call this simply political “civilization”. Look at a cat and a dog.They have basically the same organs in approximately the same places.There are differences in shape, but the differences in shape of domestic dogs is far greater, and this could be explained by different environments of the two. We need to find a system that gives a lot of people chances to become what they want to be in life, regardless of the environment or who is in charge!

By the way, when is Mbabazi Amama pulling the ‘I will show you’ card? I guess he will have to think about this in his three months leave, won’t he? My only concern is, whatever he is planning, we need to protect the few trees still standing. His misunderstandings with Museveni should not comprise the safety of other Ugandans! I still think Mbabazi is a loyal stiff who’ll, at least publicly, back Museveni up all the way to the end because he has little choice.I can’t see him opening his mouth attacking the president openly while still in Uganda.No,that would cut his own throat! Well, as they say: ‘What goes around, comes around’ (no pun intended).

Byebyo ebyange banange!

Abbey Kibirige Semuwemba

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‘“Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed. If people all over the world would do this, it would change the earth.” ― William Faulkner

The way Mbabazi has handled himself so far is remarkably class

I am also a bit taken with Amama Mbabazi’s conduct ever since he was dropped as PM, and the way he cuts through the crapola people(Museveni, Bukenya, Mike Mukula, Justine Lumumba, Tad-bwongo(Mobilisation guy), et al) have been dishing out on him. The way he has handled himself so far is remarkably class…….pure class, which raises the possibility that MAY BE we misinterpreted his confidence for arrogance. Just look at the common denominator of all the people that hate him so much in NRM: they are all arguably world class thieves and M7’s enemies. So, Is it possible that the president made a terrible mistake? I think we should back off this Mbabazi Vs Museveni thingy for now bse I still believe that these guys are still pals. Well, as someone advised me recently:’if two cannibals are fighting for a dead body, its better to stay out of it. Otherwise, if you intervene, chances are you end up being eaten too’!

Byebyo ebyange!

Some of the quotes to remember ever since Mbabazi was sacked as PM:

1.“I am here. I am in Parliament [and I] will continue to execute the duties of my constituency in Parliament. I am secretary general of the ruling party. I will continue executing my duties as secretary general………..And I love my country. I feel a lot of vigour in me and I am ready to render whatever service my countrymen think I can render. I will be working very closely with the Leader of Government Business and that is not little work………..I do not know why people keep asking me that question( about standing for presidency). Incidentally, I will have an opportunity to answer. I do not want to say anything that will overshadow the purpose of this gathering today………..Ndugu (brother Rugunda), I wish you success. I am available – of course, you know that. This [function] is for others. For you, what I say [is that] I am available to support you as I have always done and I will do so with true spirit of the NRM,” – Amama Mbabazi.

2.“I’m still available and I have not failed in any duty. I will continue to perform my duties [as secretary general]……….the party register is in the right place, with the secretary general.”- Amama Mbabazi

3.“I am not aware [of the intended search of my houses] but all will be said at an opportune time……What is going on is normal. I have already accepted the changes and have written to the appointing authority thanking him for having given me an opportunity to serve in government”- Amama Mbabazi.

4.”The fear of Amama had united the State House factions, and it seems it started up again after Amama visibly stepped back into the shadows from late July. His removal, however, ensures that that contest will only heat up, because Rugunda is too mild to frighten them.Factional fights inside the party and NRM favour Museveni, allowing him to strengthen his hand. Maybe Amama’s ambitions threatened Museveni, but his bigger sin seems to be a strange one – he had united Museveni’s “enemies”, including in the Opposition who disliked him intensely.”-Onyango-Obbo

5.“The president took this action. He exercised his powers. He knows why he did it. He should explain,….The onus is on him, not me, to explain why he sacked me. But I am okay with it. I don’t feel bad about it,……….We are preparing,We are preparing,”-Kinkiizi West MP Amama Mbabazi

6.“I was appointed by the president to be in charge of political mobilization and run the party’s affairs. It wasn’t the caucus which put me here. The appointing authority is the only person with authority to decide otherwise.”-Richard Todwong,the Minister in charge of mobilisation

7.“Hon. Todwong was appointed by the president using his constitutional powers clearly stipulated in article 108(A). He is the minister in charge of political mobilization and Kyadondo shall still remain his office unless the appointing authority reshuffles him or decides otherwise,”

-Justine Kasule Lumumba,government Chief Whip and also the chairperson NRM caucus

Where is Bidandi Ssali when you need another “dear son” letter to the Observer!

Has anybody seen Mr. Bidandi Sali around? We need another letter?


Please let us not compare Amama Mbabazi to Gilbert Bukenya anymore. We all really thought that Bukenya was something and probably would become something after Museveni, but it wasn’t meant to be. I believe in a fair world, Bukenya is supposed to be a cool guy, with a nice house, nice woman/ women on the side, nice car, large farm in the village, with a few books to read during his leisure time, a radio to listen to when he is tired, but not a full time politician. He is probably like me when I’m dreaming in my bed, you know!

Mbabazi, on the other hand, is one of those guys who uses their heads all the time or supposed to use their heads to achieve something in life. But I don’t think his head has helped him much ever since he became a PM with presidential ambitions. Mbabazi should have taken advantage of the momentum that had been built by his wife if was serious about standing for presidency. Instead, he was a chicken hawk, too damn scared to stand up for his beliefs, ambitions but demanded some else step in front of a bullet for him. He let young boys like the Adam Luzindanas to go out there and test the waters, instead of doing it himself. Now, he is not PM anymore, and I suspect these young men are gonna abandon him, unless if he has a bank built in his house.

His biggest challenge right now is how to survive in a Museveni led Uganda when they are keenly watching every move he makes. Yes, the Museveni boys are watching him, and they are supposed to file a report of his activities probably every month. And let’s face it: these boys aren’t so kind!

I would like to believe that there is more to this feud than what we already know, but I can’t see Mbabazi bouncing back from this on his terms. Hopefully, he is not sacked dry financially like my mate,Dr.Sula Kiggundu(RIP), because that makes great men die miserably. Or forced to beg to go back for a duck smiling position because he can’t cope with life outside the govt.

I really believe now that there is little standing between Mr.Muhoozi Kainerugaba and the presidency.Here’s the way it could possibly, but not plausibly happen:

* Museveni resigns over his health;
* His vice, the obedient and no harm Edward Ssekandi takes over as we prepare to organise new elections;
* Museveni’s son stands for presidency as NRM candidate with the support of the party chairman, Museveni;
* The current PM, Dr.Rugunda opposes Muhoozi’s candidature on the grounds that its controversial and its gonna divide the party. Yes, he is being watched too because he is Mbabazi’s friend. Then, he is sacked too after a few months in office, and General Aronda(another one mentioned in the famousTinyefunza letter) now becomes the new PM;
* Aronda keeps a low profile because he knows what is at stake, but he clandestinely starts using his contacts in the army to stop the Muhoozi project. He contacts Mbabazi, Rugunda, et al, to start mobilising the masses against the project;
* More unemployment organisations for the unemployed but run by the employed, are formed, and start demos on streets;
* The situation gets out of hand because of some big incident in Kampala. This forces the army to take over with Muhoozi as the interim military president;
* Mbabazi, Aronda, Rugunda, run to exile and probably die from there. Yes exile isn’t easy in old age. Winter, racism and all that can bite your head off when you least expect it;
* Muhoozi promises another fundamental change and we all move on!

He he he he. Now, where is Muzeeyi Bidandi Ssali when you need another “dear son” letter to the Observer!



Professors of different subjects define the same word in different ways:

Prof. of Accountancy:
A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.

Prof. of Economics:
A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply.

Prof. of Statistics:
A kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of 36-24-36.

Prof. of Computer Science:
A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.

Prof. of Algebra:
A kiss is two divided by nothing.

Prof. of Geometry:
A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.

Prof. of Physics:
A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.

Prof. of Chemistry:
A kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.

Prof. of Zoology:
A kiss is the interchange of unusual salivary bacteria.

Prof. of Physiology:
A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicular ors muscles in the state of contraction.

Prof. of Dentistry:
A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.

Prof. of Philosophy:
A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.

Prof. of English:
A kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.

Prof. of Engineering:
Uh, What? I’m not familiar with that term.

Prof. Gilbert Bukenya:
It’s when rice that I introduced as VP is exchanged in the mouths of two people just to please the president.

I don’t do kissing….. It’s infectious. I leave it to those with a lot of time to waste! I do whatever i do and then ‘meditate’.

Famous quotes from Mr and Mrs. Mbabazi

“I said there was nothing stopping me from standing as president. Others have been standing. I said all these years I have worked with you, in times of war, in government, you have been a good leader, the day I want to contest for presidency, I wouldn’t go out, I am a disciplined cadre. There won’t be two parties. I will remain in the movement.”- Amama Mbabazi

2.WHERE is Hon. Rosemary Najjemba when you need one?On Sunday, Mbabazi shot back: “In the caucus meeting at State House, a junior Minister Najjemba said: ‘how can you fail to control your wife or wives, what kind of secretary are you?’

“It is amazing this lady has had a marriage breakup. She has a second man. I looked at her but forgave her.”

3.Mrs.Jack Chan Mbabazi fires a warning shot at Gen.Kayihura:”I have recorded him. In this recording which I am going to make publicly available, the IGP and one fellow, Sebina, were coaching a youth called Kasirivu from Kayunga District. I have played this recording for the President to listen. In the same recording, Kayihura is telling these youth to bring in the name of Gen Aronda Nyakairima (minister of Internal Affairs) and Brig Mugira (former CMI boss) as those also working for the Mbabazi presidential bid. ………In this recording, they go further to bring in the archbishop of Rubaga [Kampala Archdiocese], Dr Cyprian Kizito Lwanga and also the Archbishop of the Anglican Church, the Rt Rev Stanley Ntangali, that they came to this house and had a lot of tea and found these boys I am working with and after they had had enough tea, they then prayed for these youth to go and do village mobilisation, all this is in the recording.”


Well,it looks like the project has always been about consolidation of power and no room for anybody outside the Museveni family.

By the way, I didn’t know that we still have people asking and answering the right questions in Uganda till when i watched this video on YouTube. Yes,Ive seen Kiiza Besigye answering the right questions but the moderators are usually disapponting but thanks to Ms. Rukh-Shana Namuyimba and Mr.Busingye Kabumba for this Q and A on NTV.

But who is Busingye Kabumba? I liked the part where he said:’ The project has always been consolidation of power through military means…….Mbabazi made a lot of mistakes by talking about the queue in NRM yet we shouldn’t have queues in a democracy……… but at the same time, we should stand up and speak for Mbabazi. Simply because he failed to speak for Besigye that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t speak for him…….unfairness to Mbabazi will translate into a broader unfairness to all of us’’

Basically, what Busingye is telling us is that:
1. If you have the better guns than Museveni’s , you can ‘jump the queue’ but you won’t become a president through elections;
2. Injustice to any Ugandan (even if it’s the unlikeable Mbabazi) should not be tolerated. “The enemy of your enemy is your friend”, ancient proverb.
3. Fascist claims by Mrs. Jack-Chan Mbabazi are a lesson to all those still protecting NRM from criticism. Here is something that is odd. The last time I used the term’ fascism’, I was writing an article on Obote 2 and how he used to segregate Muslims and Christians in his govt. Since then, I’ve been avoiding using the same word because i didn’t want the pro-Obote UAH members to come back to bite me with the ‘I told you so-s’.

So, who are the fascist bullies in NRM? Seeing your party circling certain positions can make anybody lose it as Jack-Chan did. And they (leaders) will always start talking about Adolph Hitler at Kyankwanzi, hence fulfilling one of the statements he made in his book, Mein Kampf: “The great masses’ receptive ability is only very limited, their understanding is small, but their forgetfulness is great. As a consequence of these facts, all effective propaganda has to limit itself only to a very few points and use them like slogans until even the very last man is able to imagine what is intended by such a word.’’


imageThe way Jack-chan Mbabazi has been attacking different categories of people in the government has a certain ‘old world’ charm to it coz it’s not really that crass or offensive but still gets the point across. All i know is that she is obviously reaching out for something or someone to love and accept her husband as he is. She is also making sure that those NRM youths, that are now in prison, but have openly come out to support Mbabaz’s presidential ambitions, aren’t left to feel like they have got no one fighting for them on the outside. Museveni wants to detach the youths from the Mbabazis but she is making sure that this is not easily done. For example, previously she wrote:”the situation had not deteriorated to the level of having prisoners of conscience and we should urgently discuss it. I don’t know who is funding Kayihura, whether it is taxpayers’ money he is using to humiliate, terrorise, imprison and treat these NRM members like this.”

I know the cuts in this whole saga are still fresh, but I’ll nominate Amama Mbabazi as Mr Unpopular and say it. It seems as if every “pundit” has remarked at how the political game changed when Mbabazi showed signs of being interested in the presidency and nobody seems to know how this is gonna play out. For now, Mbabazi keeps giving the public mixed messages, as in like ‘nobody can stop me from standing for presidency’ or ‘I can’t stand against Museveni’, blah blah!

Actually, i don’t know why he is playing his game this way yet we all know that he is interested in the presidency. So, what he has done strategically is to hide behind his wifely machinery to go on the attack ( as we say in football).Museveni’s men and women in NRM are, however, far more charged up than those of Mbabazi, precisely because Museveni’s supporters are doing this as a full time paid job.

Just like in football, supporters are very important. For people seeking progressive social change in Uganda, removing Museveni from office should be the top priority in the 2016 presidential elections. But its not gonna be as easy as it sounds because Museveni takes the pressure of his defenders by holding onto the ball and when one of them is eventually fouled by a frustrated ‘enemy’, he uses the state organs to get rid of them. With midfielders, such as Kayihura, Frank Tumwebaze, e.t.c, he can use them to overlap and run into space for dangerous runs.

At the moment, Jackchan has won the ball back for Mbabazi FC and she is now dribbling back in her own half and keeps possession but there seems to be no midfielder for her to pass the ball to. Will it be an Alice Ruhindi or Nina Mbabazi to take the ball, or it will be Mbabazi himself? We wait! Meanwhile, shouting matches between those on both sides are bound to continue especially if the likes of Adam Luzindana Buyinza remain in prison for a while.

Mbabazi still swimming in the waters? So, who is gonna swim with him?

PM Mbabazi is struggling in the water but who is gonna save him?Lots of rumours flying around now that he is soon gonna be sacked as NRM Sec. Gen and later as PM or lose both poistions at a go or end up in prison over ‘criminal’ activities. Well, a story is told of a man taking a trip on an old wooden sailing ship. He was out of the deck one day and saw one of the crew-members climbing the ropes; going up to the crow’s nest. When he was about half way up, the ship pitched to one side and h…e was thrown overboard.

When he hit the water, he began to scream for help, and flail his arms wildly, as he struggled to survive. The traveller watched as a sailor walked over to the rail of the ship, and calmly observed the man in the water. After a short while the man in the water tired, and began to sink.

Immediately the sailor standing by the rail jumped overboard, and rescued the drowning victim. After both men were safely on board, the traveller went over to the rescuer and asked,’ why did you wait so long to jump in the water and rescue this man?’

He calmly replied, I have found that as long as a man is struggling in the water, there is a greater chance that he will get us both killed if I jump in too quickly, and try to save him. I have learned that it is better to let them struggle awhile, and when they come to the end of their own strength, I can then jump in and rescue them.

PM Mbabazi: Are you like the drowning man in the story? Have you fallen from your place of comfort and safety, and you are now struggling just to survive, at least politically?


Let us accept that most dictators are smarter than what we think and the rest of us are dumber than we realize. These guys probably have an extra sense or higher IQ than …most of us. The amazing thing is that most of them are/were born into poverty but the way they draw up all these future plans in their childhood and then execute them perfectly in adulthood, is just genius……… Supper genius, if you ask me!

Most of them come from dysfunctional families which they even don’t wanna talk about when they become leaders, but this only helps them to use the rich to get to the top.

Most Germans may not admit it publicly but the more I read about Hitler, the more I realise that he was an extremely intelligent man who made German what it is today, i.e. a super power.

Juan Peron made Argentina what it is today though the Americans did everything to remove him from power. Pinochet was pretty smart in gaining CIA support and ruling Chile for most of his life, and Putin, too, is proving brilliant at convincing his people his dictatorship is the best system for Russia.

Mussolini was born in absolute poverty. Actually his father was always jobless but this did not stop Mussolini from fulfilling his dreams. Mussolini of Italy was an ally of Hitler in WW2.

Museveni was also born into real poverty. Up to now, there are a lot of theories around his childhood especially the possibility that he may have not been born in Uganda(which,by the way, doesn’t matter anymore). Just like Mussolini, he was a rebel at school though he never stabbed anyone (as Mussolini did). Actually, Mussolini once beat up a teacher for when he/she tried to beat him in class.

Unlike Mussolini who was brilliant in class, Museveni wasn’t a top student, BUT he found his way in Dar er salaama university and reportedly got his degree. Eriya Kategeya is on record telling us that Museveni kept telling fellow students while at high school that he was gonna be president, and nobody believed him. His then guardian, Boniface Byanyima, is on record summarily calling him a weido kiddo!

Museveni managed to dupe majority of Ugandans after the 1980 elections that he was gonna be their Messiah , and lots of them especially the Baganda supported his rebellion against Obote’s UNLA. Fast forward, he has outsmarted whoever has tried to take him out including his long time friend, Amama Mbabazi.

I swear I could write at least a 200-pages book from my head about Museveni’s ”intelligence” because I never really thought much of him when he had just come in 1986. I honestly thought he was a joke! He has surprised many by being still in power up to now and still counting. It’s unbelievable!

Stalin came from absolute poverty with a pig of a father; manipulated Lenin and others into believing he was “Mr.Dependable”. Just like Museveni is playing the NRMs against the other, Stalin outplayed all of the Bolsheviks against each other. Just like Putin has done, he managed to get most of Russia to revere him. Stalin is arguably the most intelligent dictator in history of mankind.

Unlike Museveni who publicly plays recordings of his PM plotting against him, Stalin had his own strange way of ridiculing his ‘friends’. He used to place tomatoes on peoples’ chairs in serious meeting etc so that they’d sit on them.

BA-GUY MUKILIZE- These guys psychos but are smarter than us!See more


Hint-Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the edge of a deserted road in Mbarara. Suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee screeches to a halt next to him.

The driver, a young man, James, dressed in a Brioni suit, Cerruti shoes, Ray-Ban glasses, and a YSL tie gets out and asks the shepherd: – If I guess h…ow many sheep you do have, you give me one of them, right?

The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the sheep, which graze and says: ‘All right’.

The young man parks the car, connects the notebook and the mobile, enters a NASA site, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 excel tables filled with algorithms, then prints a 150-pages report on his high-tech mini printer. He then turns to the shepherd and says: ‘You have exactly 1586 sheep here’.

The shepherd answers: – That’s correct; you can have your sheep’.

The young man takes the sheep and puts it in the back of his jeep.

The shepherd looks at him and asks: ‘If I guess your profession, will you return my sheep to me

The young man answers: ‘Yes, why not’.

The shepherd says: -‘You are an Anti-Corruption consultant!’

How did you know? Asks the young man.

Very simple, answers the shepherd: ‘First you come here without being called’.
‘Second, you charge me, to tell me something I already knew.’
‘Third, you do not understand anything about what I do, because you took my dog!’
‘Fourth, you boss, Christine, has got another surname which is similar to yours.’
‘Fifth, each of the three of you in the office have got a name starting with letter ‘K’.


I’m going to make the presumption that some of you know Mbabazi very well but I can’t help to think that the PM has got a safe deposit box somewhere whose contents are too dangerous for Museveni and his family. How else do you explain his political survival up to now? The thing with ‘safety deposit ‘ boxes, is that you must make… sure that 1-2 people know the code or where the keys are kept in case of your death. In this case, I can only guess who else knows Mbabazi’s code to the safety deposit box, and my number one suspect is Jack-chan. Believe me, nobody responds to Museveni that way unless if they have got some kind of insurance. Besigye must have one and that is why he is still jumping about.

The thing with Mbabazi is that he is very unpredictable. He is an equivalent of former US president, Jefferson who was also very unpredictable. I made predictions on Mbabazi when he accepted the position of PM but all turned into nothing. He is still PM and NRM-SG. A lot of people called him a cow instead of a horse but they all looked awful silly riding at his back. Some still do up to now. Please don’t be surprised if the PM is made vice president in the next cabinet reshuffle.

Mbabazi has been in politics of Uganda for a long time and experience is his best friend compared to the people fighting him now. His only match for now is probably Besigye and Museveni. The rest are kiddos going by their open attacks against him in the media. I used to think highly of Jim Muhwezi till when he openly started attacking Mbabazi. Serious people in politics keep certain things to themselves; they eat with their enemies; shake hands with their enemies;…………waiting for the right time to pounce on them!

Mbabazi can even afford not to respond to Bukenya’s latest statement because he knows that there is no value addition in that…………..Bukenya is finished politically and his latest attack on Mbabazi in the media didn’t help him that much. I’m just saying, you can make a good living in politics without necessarily opening your mouth to every Tom and Dick that surfaces. And that comes with experience and wisdom not just being drafted in from Makerere University public Health Dept to parliamentary politics.

Andrew Mwenda’s latest perspective in his magazine, the Independent, is also interesting but unfortunately there is nothing new in his intelligence ‘bites’. But there is no doubt that he has passed on the intended message to the recipients and they must be thinking about it now. Let’s wait and see how they handle it!

Frankly, I’m enjoying this for a change! Hopefully I live to see the end of it.




It is with great concern that I heard that the about 200 NRM MPs endorsed president Museveni as their presidential candidate for 2016 elections. Whilst it is important for our country and our region to encourage debates of this nature, it is equally important to stress the importance of ethical politicking.

I am sure that you are aware that the Museveni government has committed numerous crimes against its own people including but not limited to torture, unjust imprisonment and unfair dismissal from work(as has been the case with the Lord Mayor, Erias Lukwago). By endorsing such a man to continue to lead us indefinitely, you will be tacitly supporting the actions of a regime that Amnesty International has described as follows in their 1992 report:

“John Omagor, his two wives and 15 other relatives were all massacred by NRA soldiers in early August 1990. John Omagor and one other man were shot dead:the rest were burned to death in a hut. Such killings by soldiers of unarmed civilians and prisoners have happened every year since the NRM government took power in 1986. Most have taken place in areas where the authorities have been facing insurgencies. Amnesty International has repeatedly submitted reports of extrajudicial executions to the government, asking it to investigate the incidents.”

”Between 3 and 5 May, NRA soldiers and members of paramilitary Local Defence (LDUs) Units reportedly killed more than 90 civilians in Koro and Bobi Sub-Counties south of Gulu town. The military action followed a brief occupation of Gulu town by insurgents in April.”

”NRA soldiers reportedly killed 15 men at Ojie Primary School in Kanyum Sub-County on 31 December. The victims were among 40 men and boys detained for screening. The killings followed an attack by UPA rebels on an NRA detachment nearby in which LDU troops and two women civilians died.” (Source: Amnesty International’ s Annual Report (1992) on Uganda).

Most Ugandans Atheart have now given up and waiting for God to decide the fate of the country.And the so called “international” community also love the NRM junta and is arming the junta to the teeth, training it in crowd control (teargassing and shooting at protestors) and financing the suppression.They love the kleptocracy/ plutocracy that exists now and do not want to turn the apple cart.

I urge you therefore to reconsider whether supporting Museveni Yoweri Kaguta’s candidature is in the best interests of our country. There are other people in NRM that aren’t tainted and can lead us to the next level of better changes in our country. If you insist on having Museveni as your candidate, we should then let him lead till when he dies instead of wasting money on presidential elections.God help us all!

Yours sincerely,

[Your signature]
[Your name]

Museveni still needs the Baganda!

M7 would not be or continue to be president without Buganda support:’Nobody should deceive you that they can be president for long in Uganda in the face of an active Buganda opposition. If the whole of Buganda starts ‘OPERATION AGAINST M7’ openly then the regime will not last, but somehow believe it or not, there is a large section of Baganda that still adore president Museveni, for some reasons. Of course, there are also those who love him because he helps their bank accounts to grow ‘fat’. President Museveni has also tried to make sure that he isolates Mengo from the population and it seems to be working (for now).

I suspect that Kiiza Besigye was forced to change tactics for the the struggle(including retiring from the FDC presidency) after realising that the large section of the population in Uganda is so ‘confused’, not to mention the endless number of NRM spies that kept surrounding him in FDC.

Baganda’s hostility towards Obote and UPC was the main reason of Museveni’s victory in 1986. They supported him because they hated Obote. Secondly, because Banyarwanda have got a weakness called ‘OKWEWANA’(boastful) and ‘ENJOGELA EMBI'(loose tongue), they created problems for Museveni in the NRA between 1986 and 1994 because other tribes, especially the Baganda and Bahima, did not like them after the war. Their promotions in the NRA started being blocked. For instance, In November 1989, Major General Fred Rwigyema was removed from his position as commander in chief and minister of Defence. By the way, I have got no problem with any tribe including the Banyarwanda!

Fred Rwigyema officially joined RANU in December 1987 at their conference in Kampala. At that conference, RANU changed its name to RPF. RPF was financially backed by a Muslim brother called Omani.

So please we should not underestimate the Baganda just because they have been flogged by the current govt one way or the other. They are still a force to be reckoned with in any future plans for the country.’

Abbey Kibirige Semuwemba

Story:Museveni seeks advise from Queen Elizabeth II of England

Queen Elizabeth II meets Yoweri Museveni, President of Uganda and Chair-in-Chief for the Commonwealth at a Commonwealth Day Service at Westminster Abbey on March 10, 2008 in London, England.

Queen Elizabeth II meets Yoweri Museveni, President of Uganda and Chair-in-Chief for the Commonwealth at a Commonwealth Day Service at Westminster Abbey on March 10, 2008 in London, England.

President Museveni one time visited the UK and asked the British Queen: “Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?”

“Well,” said the Queen, “The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”

Museveni frowned, and then asked, “But how do I know if the people around me are really intelligent?”

The Queen took a sip of champagne.”Oh, that’s easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle, watch”. The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. “Please send David Cameron in here, would you?”

David Cameron walked into the room and said, “Yes, your Majesty?”

The Queen smiled and said,”Answer me this please, David. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?”

Without pausing for a moment, David Cameron answered, “That would be me.”

“Yes! Very good.” said the Queen.

Museveni went back home to ask his VP, Edward Ssekandi the same question: “Edward, answer this for me.” Your mother and your father have a child. It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister.Who is it?”

“I’ m not sure,” said Ssekandi. “Let me get back to you on that one.” He went to his advisors and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer.

Frustrated, Ssekandi went to work in parliamentary gym and saw Gen.Sejusa there.

Ssekandi went up to him and asked, “Hey Sejusa, So, you are back from London. I told you not to antagonise the big man because he is the law here. Now, let’s see if you can answer this question. Because if you do, it will justify your changing of the name from Tinyefunza, and i will ask the big man to forgive you”

“Shoot Edward.”

“Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

Gen.Sejusa answered,”That’s easy, it’s me!”

Sekandi smiled, and said, “Good answer Sejusa! Now I know why you dropped that Tinyefunza name”

Sekandi then went back to speak with President Museveni . “Sir, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle…..It’ s Gen. Sejusa!”

Museveni got up, stomped over to Sekandi, and angrily yelled into his face,

“No! You idiot! It’s David Cameron! I don’t ever want to hear of that fuckin name again.Do you hear me. The queen was right………All these Tamare Mirundi, Ssebagala, Naava Nabagesera, Frank Tumwebaze, Rwakakamba Morrison,…………are a waste of space. I need to get Erias Lukwago and Col. Dr. Kizza Besigye to apologise to help me out as soon as possible. Any markets or mall opening soon in Kampala?’


Without Foreign help, Museveni isn’t going anywhere any time soon!

I don’t think anybody is in a position to dislodge Museveni militarily without foreign help. It’s just impossible and I’m sure even the Tinyefunzas know it. Museveni is a student of Uganda history and politics. As such he knows exactly what led to the fall of Obote 1 and 2, Amin and others. Their failure to control and strengthen the military was very central to their downfall and Museveni is aware of this. As a result, he (president Museveni) has been directly controlling and strengthening the NRA/ UPDF since 1986. We may call it unprofessional but it’s working out for him.

It’s just common sense that anybody who wishes to engage Museveni militarily must have to seek foreign assistance as unsuccessfully and allegedly PRA did with Rwanda after the 2001 elections. Without that, he will probably last in power as long as Gadafi, and yes, it looks like he has intentions of dying in power.

By the way, Museveni has also arguably got one of the best intelligence systems in Africa. He has got his boys and girls everywhere feeding him the information he needs. I tell you what, I sometimes log on Facebook and log out at the same time if my intention is to make a political comment, because it’s like bathing when you know you are being watched. And trust me, majority of the people doing this kind of work for the president never shit where they eat. They are so determined, focused and dedicated to the president. I don’t know what drugs he gave them but there are certainly working.

His women are everywhere in government institutions and, for some reason, they love him too. I’m not doing an Aroma Patrick (UPC) here but it will be bloody if Museveni is forced out power. Unfortunately, all the signs are that’s where we are heading! A lot of people (both in the opposition and government) are so much interlinked, intertwined, interworking……… with him such that it’s just difficult to separate an enemy from a friend. It’s all bwaise- katogo, you know.

It pains me to say this but there isn’t gonna be a people revolution in Uganda anytime soon. If it was to take place, it would have happened immediately after the 2006 elections because I strongly believe that Besigye won those elections. What we have got in Uganda at the moment is a population that has given up on politics of the country. They don’t know who to trust in terms of leadership. A revolution without a trusted leadership is more like genocide. It cannot be anywhere near the definition of a liberation. People will just kill each other for no reason.

If you send a few Ugandans now on streets with a mission to take out Museveni’s government, trust me, he will not even blink an eye to order the police and army to shoot them, even if the rest of his family were part of the protestors. The Buganda September 2009 riots would be a picnic in comparison. He will order for them to be shot, and if the Nganda Ssemujjus are making too much noise afterwards, he will compensate the families and even give them a state funeral if that’s what they want. I understand some people tried to bring in the ICC after the Sep 2009 riots but we are yet to officially hear from the ICC themselves about this.

Colonel Samson Mande was quoted recently in the London Evening post saying that Museveni can still removed through elections. I laughed my head off when I read this because I didn’t know Mande was this unserious and naive yet he has been talking a lot recently, especially after his reported meeting with Gen Sejusa in London. Which elections was he talking about? To be honest, I pity anybody putting their energy into the 2016 presidential elections. It’s a waste of time and resources, if you ask me.

I believe we’re going to get into this debate about presidential elections more at a later date, but I strongly believe that the electoral system in place let down Besigye in both the 2006 and 2011 elections. Journalist Andrew Mwenda is now a friend of president Museveni but he has written a lot of reliable several articles clearly showing vote rigging as a necessary evil in 2006 elections. Of course, I disagreed with him in some of his analysis but he was OK in others.

The most abominable aspect of the plans to rig the 2006 elections was their intent to keep Museveni in power at all costs. They did everything possible to control the election from the beginning till the end, and that made the whole process so disgusting. They put Dr. Besigye in prison for some good days as if some horrible winter was waiting for him on the outside; judges were threatened as later revealed by Hon.Kanyeihamba; people were being bought left and right with huge sums of money as some people later revealed, e.t.c

Basically, we face a real choice in this country between those who want to believe in elections and those who see them as a waste of time and resources as long as Museveni has the intent to keep power at all costs. It’s a dream for anyone to think that he (Museveni) will keep the playing field level so that everyone with a good idea, a dream of making it big and plenty of determination has a chance to make it.

Once again it seems that there is substantial doubt that the current Electoral Commission will do something any different from what they did in the 2001, 2006 and 2011 elections.

The principal conclusion in all this is that the 2016 elections should not even be in our heads. We should be thinking of other possible things to change the system in Kampala. There are a lot of options here minus the full scale war. I have never been a fun of wars, for some reason, after what I’ve seen of Museveni yet a lot of people sacrificed a lot during the Luwero bush war.

I believe that the Besigyes planned to use the 2011 elections as a platform to mobilise the masses against the government but the experiment was a total failure. In any case, Ugandans are now more hopeless than before. Besigye knew that Museveni wasn’t going to give up power, Museveni knew that he wasn’t gonna give up power, Ugandans knew that Museveni wasn’t going to give up power, but the Besigyes bent on the hope that the population will come in full force to demand for their rights, thus a people revolution. It didn’t happen and it won’t happen any time soon. Walk-to-work shook the government a bit but when they changed the tactics to hooting, I knew that they’d lost the motivation.

I don’t know what they are planning now but it doesn’t take a half brain for anybody to know that they aren’t thinking about elections anymore. Who could blame them, could you?


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Semuwemba is a Ugandan residing in the UK

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"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. "~ Martin Luther King Jr. ~

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